Audrey Rose – Laughing Stars

By: Dagny McKinley

Audrey Rose had no idea how long she’d been asleep. A foggy haze of apples and sunflowers hung over her. There had been a mission for her. Was that part of her dream or was it real? A voice had told her, her heart would be happy when she found the place where stars laughed.

Real or not, Audrey Rose decided to accept the mission. Some part of her knew the answer, but wasn’t giving anything away. So she wandered. One foot in front of the other. The earth was dusty with the summer traffic of deer, bear, magpies, squirrels, porcupines. Highways of creatures moving through the forest down to the river.

It was at the river’s edge that Audrey Rose’s attention was caught. Even though movement was slow, ripples almost stilled, the river moved. In it, images were distorted whether from the lure of a fly-fishing rod or a rock or the touch of a toe. A fisherman was casting nearby, slow rhythmic lines. As the fly landed, the water twinkled like a star but there was no laughter.

“Excuse me,” said Audrey Rose.

The fisherman grunted. Audrey Rose sat on the bank watching the line move back and forth.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she tried again.”

“Don’t be sorry, just tell me what you want.”

“This may sound kind of strange but if you were a star where would you go to laugh.”

“What kind of a question is that?” His throw had lost its rhythm for a moment. He paused and looked at Audrey Rose. She looked normal as far as he could see although the soles of her feet were cracked and filled with dirt.

“A question I don’t know the answer to,” replied Audrey Rose.

“You ever wash those feet?”

“They won’t come clean until the snow scrapes them clean. Can I try?”

The fisherman handed her the rod. His hands over hers were gentle, avuncular. He guided the line until she felt the movement, the sway she needed.

“L.A.”

“Is that code for something?”

“Los Angeles. Don’t stars live there? They must laugh sometime.”

Audrey Rose flung the line back and it caught in a bush, barely missing a biker. She handed the rod back to the fisherman.

“I wasn’t even thinking about people. I was thinking about the stars in the sky.”

“I always look for answers in things I can touch. A star. Who knows if it’s real? If it’s dead or alive? Start close then move further away. Works for me. You need any other answers? I’m full of ‘em.”

“What should I fear?”

“Everything. But you should never let it stop you.”

“How do you know your heart’s happy?”

“That one’s for you to figure out. Doesn’t matter what anyone tells you. Only your heart can decide when it’s happy.”

The fisherman got a bite. He lifted the line, a trout wriggling, fighting for life.

“It wasn’t a dream.”

“What wasn’t?”

“Are you happy?”

“Do you see the size of this fish?”

The fish lay gasping for air. Audrey Rose picked up a rock and smashed the fishes’ head.

“To put it out of its misery.” Audrey Rose gave the fisherman a kiss on the cheek before skipping home.

As she packed her ivory suitcase with a rock, aspen leaf and hawk’s feather to remind her of Colorado, she drank a bottle of wine. She let the warmth fall over her, then climbed out the window, her bare toes touching soil, turning to grass turning to asphalt. The journey was beginning.