On Top

Growing Roots_s

Audrey Rose was wandering through the wilderness contemplating how people, like diamonds only came to life when filled with light, when she heard a shriek and a giggling that should have come from a young girl, but was clearly coming from a man. Intrigued, Audrey Rose followed the noise. She crept through the bushes, her bare feet not making a sound until a rocky landing opened up in front of her. She crouched down and watched as a very tall, lanky man with wild dark hair ran full speed to the edge of the cliff, shrieked as he skidded almost to the edge, then turned, giggling and ran as fast as he could away from the edge. He black eyes were fevered with excitement, his graceful movements betrayed by his awkward behavior.

The man dropped to his knees, panting, still giggling slightly to himself. His clothes were loose and baggy and looked as if they might carry him away at any moment.
“Seriously?” said Audrey Rose before she realized she was speaking out loud. The man startled and jumped up.

“I thought you were dying. I heard a shriek and a scream, I thought you might need help, but you look perfectly fine.”
“I do need help,” said the man between pants “but not the kind you can administer to me.”
“What exactly are you doing?” asked Audrey Rose.
“Come with me.” The man stretched out his long slender hand. “I’ll show you.”
“Seriously,” Audrey Rose muttered, but took his hand anyway. Audrey Rose ran with him, but when the man closed in on the edge, she pulled her hand from his and dropped back.

The man’s toes touched the edge of the cliff and he reared back like a stork, turned screaming and fled back to where Audrey Rose had found him. This time, Audrey Rose approached more cautiously.
“What are you doing?”
“You don’t get it? Maybe we should try again,” said the man.
“If you go to the edge, you have to jump,” said Audrey Rose.
“Jump. That’s preposterous. We can’t fly.”
“I’d rather fly than fall, which is what  you’re going to do if you keep this up,” said Audrey Rose.
“No, no, no. Not at all. There’s no thrill in dying – that’s far too final, but there is a thrill in almost dying.”
“And the screaming?”
“I’m alive. Every part of me is alive. Inside I’m screaming, soooo.”
“I think you’re living life on the wrong side,” said Audrey Rose.
“What can you possibly mean?”
“Where are you from?”
“Where is anyone from? My mother and father, of course. Fate or destiny may have had a part in it, but I really….”
“Never mind. You speech is….never mind. Now it’s your turn to come with me.”

Audrey Rose took his hand again and led him down to the bottom of the cliff and pointed up.
“Take off your clothes,” said Audrey Rose, as she slipped out of her sparkly skirt. The man averted his eyes. Slightly.
“What is this, some kind of initiation into the dark side?”
“Your clothes will catch on the rock.”
“What if other parts of me catch?”
“No boxers?”
“I’m made of flesh.” He looked at Audrey Rose, closed his eyes and imagined something, then respectably took his pants off.

“So what’s the point of all this?” said the man pointing up.
“Well for one, it got you to stop screaming.”
“This is silly. Shenanigans. All I see is dirt and rock and it’s straining my neck. There is no death here, no inevitable destruction looking up. There are no possibilities.”
“There is one possibility,” replied Audrey Rose.

The man looked at Audrey Rose as she found her first foothold on the rock.

“You’re mad,” said the man.
“I’ve always thought that downhills were the hardest. To jump, that’s easy, but think about the work involved in going up. There’s nothing scary about it until you look down, just one simple step at a time.”

Audrey Rose wedged her finger into a crack, pulling herself slowly upwards. There was nothing to catch her fall and the man moved instinctively sideways out of her way. He peered curiously at the rock.

“I trusted you,” said Audrey Rose.
“You almost trusted me,” said the man.
“Your body is made for this. Come on, just try.”
“You’re mad.”

Audrey Rose was almost half way up the cliff. She tilted her head back and yelled “You can spend your life screaming on top or you can earn your place on top by understanding how you got there.”

The man stepped towards the cliff and inhaled. “Smells dirty,” he said.
“Climbing is dirty,” said Audrey Rose, her voice trailing away through atmosphere. “It’s all about intimacy and tender touches. It’s raw and sometimes…”

The man took a step up. There was no giggling. He began to focus on the rock in front of him, moving like a spider, one step at a time, getting closer to hear what Audrey Rose had to say.

“…bloody, very bloody and other times it’s smooth and curvy and your fingers talk to you and your life is held in the rock’s hands. Never forget that. The rock owns you when you climb her. Let your fingers guide you, feel for you and you’ll be safe.

The man tried not to look up at Audrey Rose, to compromise her with his thoughts. He focused instead on the cool cliff that was almost damp to the touch. He let her voice entice him upward, his fingers holding his weight. He listened to the voice within his body, heard his legs tell him where to go, felt the burn in his arms and knew it was too late to go back. There was only one question – where do I go next? – yet even as his mind asked, his body answered.

Audrey Rose reached the top, pulled her body up and over the ledge, then sat letting her legs dangle. The man wasn’t far behind. His movements were nimble, effortless. When he reached Audrey Rose’s toes, he let his nose sniff her from her toes to her knees.

“Dirty,” said the man.
“As they should be.”

The man swung over the top and lay on his back. His breathing was calm and deep, feeding his body, not exciting it.

“Don’t you want to look down, now? You’ve earned the view,” said Audrey Rose.
“You tried to fucking kill me and you’re talking about views.”
“I showed you another way.”
“Nope. Thank you. Actually, no thank you very much,” said the man as he sat up.
“No thank me what?”
“How will I ever be able to run to the edge of a cliff knowing what really lies below there?”
“Seriously?”
“The fun is not knowing, not trusting myself,” said the man. “You, girl, have stifled my scream. Without my scream who am I?”
“Will you climb again?”
“Do I have to explain everything,” said the man standing with his toes on the edge of the cliff. Audrey Rose got up and stood next to him, the tips of their toes hanging over.
“Of course I will climb again. I will most likely climb for the rest of my life. I may never stop climbing, not to eat, not to cry and certainly not to giggle.”
Audrey Rose held his hand. Their fingers wrapped around each other.
“I have moments like that.”
“Forever, I will climb up and never fall down. Such lofty heights of achievement in climbing. Such a noble cause. Upwards, upwards, forever upwards. Don’t ever tell me your name, you sprite, you nymph, you fairy. You have no place on this earth.”
“Shall we fly?” asked Audrey Rose.
“I already have.”